“Have you hugged your kid today?”

 “Have you hugged your kid today?”

Children need hugs and affection. Studies have shown babies have been known to ‘fail to thrive’, without touch. Even though hugs are important they must be given appropriately. We need to protect our young children, yet still provide the emotional support they need.

Personal boundaries must be established.

Guidelines for Children

Children less than three do not understand personal boundaries, so when they need a hug they go for it with gusto. To be appropriate you may want to bend down to their level to receive the hug. A hug for less than three can be with two arms but for older children it is better to give a one armed hug or sideways hug.

A recent article suggests that the length of the hug for young children should be up to the child, and not the adult. When the adult pulls away before the child receives the support or comfort needed, the child may feel rejected. Understanding a child’s need for a hug is part of being a respectful and responsive caregiver.

Personal boundaries must be established and are taught by letting a child know that it is alright to refuse a hug or another form of affection.  Caregivers need to ask children if they want a hug before automatically giving them one. If the child refuses the hug, do not make them feel badly or force them. Sometimes parents will try to make their children receive hugs from relatives; but it very important for the child to realize they can say, “No” and that it will be respected.

So hug those children every day or several times a day to build attachment and support their emotional development; just be sure to remember to respect their personal space as well.