Goals of Misbehavior - Revenge

Misbehavior can be broken down into four basic categories:

1.  Attention
2.  Power
3.  Avoidance of Failure
4.  Revenge

If you understand these goals of misbehavior, you can change your reactions to the behaviors and in many cases can change the behaviors of the child. The goals of the misbehavior are subconscious to the child. The child is not deliberately acting in negative ways. The child is using unsuccessful methods of filling unmet needs.

4.  Revenge

Revenge is another goal of misbehavior. You usually see this in a child who is already angry and feeling hurt. The goal of the child is to hurt back.

You can identify revenge as the goal because you feel hurt and angry too. This child needs lots of positive attention and choices. You should make a conscious effort to catch the child being good. Make sure to give the child choices when power struggles arise. Also, you need to work at establishing a positive relationship with this child.

Once the child feels respected and accepted, receives praise for good behavior, and is allowed control over his or her life by being given choices, the behavior will gradually disappear.

Related training:
A Basic Approach to Understanding Misbehavior - 2 hours
Understanding and Coping with Behavioral Problems - 3 hours
Guidance and Discipline (2 hours / .2 CEU)