Juggling New Baby and Husband
You have just entered into motherhood for the first time. The beauty and emotion of having a new baby is overwhelming complex. Whether you are breast feeding or bottle feeding, using disposable diapers versus cloth, using supplements, feeding soy milk or cow’s milk, there are multiple choices to be made. Combine those items with being sleep deprived and you have a challenge. If that isn't enough to deal with, now you have a partner who is feeling they are no longer the most important person in your world. What to do?
Below are a few ideas that other moms have put into effect that might be helpful.
- Spilt things up. Maybe mom gets up in the nights with the baby, then during the day or early evening dad takes over while mom naps. Team work. One gives baby a bath, the other dresses him/her. The more you work together the less abandoned your spouse will feel and the more attached to the baby he will become.
- Together plan ways to slip away to another room when the baby falls asleep and reconnect as you share the details of your day.
- Schedule a weekly day off. When your spouse arrives home you have a couple hours of the day/evening to spend in any way you like; shopping, hanging with the girls, going to the gym etc. Then switch it so they may enjoy a relaxing couple of hours off per week as well. During the other days of the week, team up. Sometimes just knowing you will have time alone can give you the determination to hang on during the more difficult moments.)
- Find half an hour to sit down and visit together.
- Let your partner take thirty minutes to unwind when they get home before letting them help out with the baby, dinner or other tasks.
Very Important:
- To plan a time when you can be alone every week, at least for an hour. Helps your sanity.
- Be sure to spend time with your partner without the baby. Plan an evening for just you two, go out if you can; but if not, after your baby is asleep pop popcorn, or play scrabble, or (my personal favorite), exchange relaxing back massages etc.
- If money is an issue, get to know another couple with children and take turns watching the children while you put the dating plans into effect.
- Realize being a parent is stressful, each of you can coach the other to "be strong", "stay in the race", and that "you are going to make it". You ARE going to raise this baby! Together you can make it happen!!
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