Have you ever experienced the
following?
Brad, a three year old, dogging your
footsteps in the kitchen while you are trying to put groceries away after
shopping. “Brad, I am busy right now, why don’t you go play with your toys.”
Brad continues to hang around the
kitchen grabbing items and shoving them into the cupboards. In frustration you
know you are going to have to spend more time straightening up Brad’s mess. “Brad I mean it. Let me work on this
and you go watch Sponge Bob.” Brad slowly leaves the room. Feeling a
bit guilty you ask. “Why are you sad Brad, you get to watch TV?”
“I just want to be with you Mom.” Large
blue eyes look back at you with huge tears brimming. He blinks and they flow
over and down his cheeks.
Hurrying over you hug him and say, "Brad we spent the day together. We went shopping at Safeway, then stopped by
our friends house to play awhile and then we went to your baseball practice."
“It doesn’t seem like we spent time
together. Couldn’t you read me a story?”
Suddenly it dawns on you. When you read
to Brad you snuggle up close on the couch with your arm wrapped around his
shoulders. Physical touch is one of your child’s strong love languages.
What is a love language?
A love language is how people
understand and express love one for another. Doesn’t everyone know when somebody
loves them? Isn’t it obvious?
Not Necessarily
The Five Love
Languages Are
Physical Touch
Some children love to get hugs and
kisses, or have their hair ruffled. They also love to sit in your lap. They may
also enjoy participating in physical activities with you like racing, wrestling
and tag.
Words of Affirmation
If those positive words of
encouragement seem to put a smile on your kid’s face then this might be your
child’s love language. Tell them how much you love them. Love
shouldn’t be earned, just given. Speak aloud about how good they did, not just
in private, but also in front of others. Leave notes telling them how great
they are and that you love them etc.
Quality Time
Some children wants your total
attention and really wants to just be with you. They won’t be content to share
you with the telephone or TV. Read stories to them. Watch movies
together. Play games together. Walk and visit. Go fishing. Along the way ask questions and pay
attention to the answers. Keep in mind that eye contact promotes the bonding experience
and enhances your connection. If you have multiple children try to get a
special time in with each child somewhere along the day, even tucking the child
into bed at night can be a special time.
Gifts
If receiving gifts brings a certain joy
to your child consider that you don’t need to give expensive gifts. Become
imaginative.Give a flower, rock, or a shell found
on the beach. You can have inexpensive gifts that you store up to hand out at
certain moments. Or when traveling bring home small gifts to show they were
thought of.
Service
Other children especially like it when
something is done for them. Cooking them a special meal or treat. A
nice gift would be to do their regular routine jobs for them. Brushing their
hair, or painting their nails. Driving your children to school, to visit their
friends, or to their sports activities.
Each person interprets love in their
own way. What way do you interpret love? You can take a quiz on the following
site and see what way your child sees and feels love. It might be fun to take a
quiz yourself to find out what ways you interpret love.
It takes all five of the love languages to keep most children completely happy; but once over the age of five they begin to use one or two predominate ones.
A wealth of information can be found at
the sites listed.
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