By: Debbie Hasbrook, M.Ed.
There are three things you cannot
make a child do: eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom.
Teachers and parents often try to control these three powers, but ultimately it is up to the child. A child’s developmental level is often a factor. There a times when a child is asked to control or give up their power before they are developmentally ready because the adult decides it’s time.
Teachers and parents often try to control these three powers, but ultimately it is up to the child. A child’s developmental level is often a factor. There a times when a child is asked to control or give up their power before they are developmentally ready because the adult decides it’s time.
Studies have shown that trying to control these three powers
can
have long lasting results.
Have you ever had the experience when you weren't hungry, and someone was trying to force you to eat something? How did that make you feel? Angry, sad, guilty, that they wouldn't like you if you said no?
If food becomes an issue of power, later on a child may develop
eating disorders such as obesity, bulimia, and anorexia.
Have you ever had someone keep you awake? Or tried to go to bed early because you had to wake up early the next day, and you weren't tired, so you laid there tossing and turning?
If sleeping becomes a power issue
a child can develop emotional
difficulties and difficulty sustaining restful sleeping patterns.
Have you ever been in a position when you were unable to go to the bathroom and you really needed to go? Or gone to the Dr. and they wanted a urine test, and couldn't go?
If toileting becomes a power issue, children can develop emotional
difficulties such as OCD and Encopresis: which is when children hold their
bowel and bladder movements and a little is discharged into their undergarments.
Over time this can cause infections, social isolation (because they smell) and
compacted bowel syndrome which can be life threatening.
Consider when you are dealing with these issues whether it is your expectation, or if it is developmentally appropriate for that individual child. No two children develop at the same rate in the same way.
If there is push back on a power you are trying to work with, consider a new strategy.
By the time a child is five years old they will know how to eat, sleep and go to the bathroom.
Support
children with their individual development, it will be easier on both of you.
About the author: Debbie Hasbrook is a full time trainer with Successful Solutions Training in Child Development. Debbie has worked with children and families for 37 years. In that time she has been a home provider, teacher, director, Regional and State conference presenter and Adjunct faculty at a number of colleges in Washington State. Her education includes a Master of Education, Montessori Preschool Degree and several certifications. Debbie is independently approved through the Washington Dept. of Early Learning as an advanced trainer, which qualifies her to provide Washington STARS and CDA Training. In addition, Debbie is an approved Master Trainer in Oregon for the Core Body of Knowledge training.
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