Toddler Expectations

Toddlers (1 to 2 ½ year-old) tend to:

• Endlessly ask “Why?”
• Repeat the same activity many times
• Say “No!” and say it often!
• Want to do things for themselves
• Be frustrated when they do not have the skills to do what they want to do
• Get upset by disrupted routines
• Grab things from another child if they want it
• Test their physical limits by climbing, running, and pulling themselves up on things, sometimes getting into predicaments
• Solve disputes physically because they have not fully mastered language.
• Bite their playmates out of frustration, anger, or to get what they want

Sometimes toddlers need special understanding in order to meet their needs. Below are some additional insights into the world of toddlers.

Toddlers do not have the ability to see things from another person’s point of view. They may think that the world revolves around them. With a little time and experience they will grow out of this. Sometimes they may hurt others but do not understand that they caused the hurt. You will need to help them to understand the results of their actions. “Hitting hurts. That hurt Kim-Long when you hit her. She is crying. Use your gentle touches.” Or, “Miguel had the ball first. It made him sad when you took it from him. See, he is crying. Let’s give the ball back to Miguel and you can play with this one.”


Toddlers have short memories and need lots of reminders. Even when told, “No,” they may forget the rule just a short time later. You can kindly and gently restate the rule as you guide them to another activity.

Toddlers have good intentions but poorly developed motor skills. Perhaps a tight squeeze may have been meant to be a hug from a toddler. Again, they need to be reminded and shown how to use gentle touches. Sometimes spilled milk is an attempt at independence without the ability to do it themselves. You should encourage the intention while showing the child a more secure way of holding the cup.

Ask yourself these questions:
Are my expectations for toddlers appropriate or are they too high?
Are they experiencing consistency and routine throughout each day?
Does my daily schedule and routines provide them a sense of security by knowing what will come next?
Is the environment structured so that they can freely move about and explore?
Are there any “hands off” areas that need to be modified for their safety and exploration?
What is the noise level? Is it too loud? Can it be modified?
Are my expectations for them to sit or be still for periods of time appropriate?
Toddlers need to move, wiggle, and explore. A good time for sharing a story, song, or fingerplay with young children is during meal times, when they are sitting and you already have their attention.
Are there plenty of toys and materials available, many of them duplicates, so that they do not have to share more than is developmentally appropriate for their age?
Do you have enough teachers in your toddler room to meet the individual needs of the children? This age often needs lower staff-to-child ratios for their developmental needs. This is especially true during diaper changing times, eating times, and putting them to sleep at naptime.

Related training:
Infant and Toddler Care Training Package
Stages of Social and Emotional Development in Toddlers (1 hour / .1 CEU)
Stages of Physical Growth and Development in Toddlers (1 hour / .1 CEU)
Stages of Cognitive Development in Toddlers (1 hour / .1 CEU)