Playing Games with Children

By: Debbie Hasbrook, M.Ed.

I love playing games with children. Every developmental stage brings its own fun to the game. When my grandson Kanen was an infant he loved any game that surprised him, like peek-a-boo, toys that would mysteriously appear, and “I’m going to get you,” a chase game. This is the age of games that build trust and attachment.

As a toddler, he loved balls of all shapes and sizes. Playing a game with the balls meant rolling him the ball, and then he would kick it, roll it, roll on it, pick it up and run with it. The game rarely included sending it back to me. This is the age of independent play.

Around the time that Kanen turned three we introduced him to chess. A great game for children and can be started when they are very young in small steps. However, very young children do not understand rules. Games for threes must only have one rule. If it is a matching game, the rule is the pictures match. Games where you must role dice, or spin a spinner, count spaces, follow a specific path are not appropriate for three’s. The three year old will be very sensitive to winner or loser. Play games where everyone wins, and there are no losers.

The four year old appears to have the language and maturity to handle games. Alas, no. Games for this age still follow the rules for three’s. You can play Candy Land, Uno, Chutes and Ladders and have a good time. As long as you understand that a four year old will create their own rules; they will cheat, they will get bored, and might not be able to handle the emotional trauma of losing.

By the time Kanen, was five he was able to play simple two rule games. He understood that there were rules that must be followed, and he was aware of when he was making up his own rules. Just go with the flow you will have more fun. This was when his parents began putting him into organized sports.

There is nothing funnier than watching little one’s play t-ball. The softball is placed on a stationary stand, the batter wears a helmet that always seems to flop forward covering the eyes, and they always miss the ball when they swing. The child is allowed to swing until they hit the ball, this can take some time. Then there is always the question of which way they will run, to 1st or 3rd base.

Caution and consideration should accompany any organized sport with children under six or seven. Their cognitive function and emotional development have not matured to the point where they can assimilate and replicate the rules and order of an organized sport. If you have ever watched five’s and six’s playing soccer you will understand. They move in a large pack, get upset when they get kicked, get tired and sit down in the field, leave the field without permission because they were offended by another player’s behavior, etc.

Play games with children, let the rules slide, it doesn't matter who wins, but it will matter who loses. Have fun, and be aware of a child’s development when designing and implementing games to play.

About the author: Debbie Hasbrook is a full time trainer with Successful Solutions Training in Child Development. Debbie has worked with children and families for 37 years. In that time she has been a home provider, teacher, director, Regional and State conference presenter and Adjunct faculty at a number of colleges in Washington State. Her education includes a Master of Education, Montessori Preschool Degree and several certifications. Debbie is independently approved through the Washington Dept. of Early Learning as an advanced trainer, which qualifies her to provide Washington STARS and CDA Training. In addition, Debbie is an approved Master Trainer in Oregon for the Core Body of Knowledge training.