Give Choices

When children are given choices they are more likely to cooperate. Offering choices also promotes independence and gives the children some control over their own behavior.

“I can see that you are not through playing yet, Sadie. Would you like to put that over here and finish it after lunch, or would you like two more minutes before washing up and coming to the lunch table?”

“Mikhail has the red marker now. Would you like the green one or the blue one to use until he is finished with his?”


Sometimes children refuse to choose among the options available to them and you need to make the choice for them. Spending a lot of time with a child who refuses to cooperate focuses attention on negative behaviors. Some examples of how to bring a situation rapidly to a close are:

“It looks like you can’t decide whether you’re going to put your shoes on or not. Sit here and I will help you this time.”

“Can you decide which books you’re going to look at all by yourself or should I help you? (No response.) Would you like this book or this one? (No response.) I see you’ll need some help this time. Take this book to your table.”

Once children get used to choices, they usually want to make their own choices without protest. Remember to give only choices that you are comfortable allowing children to make. They can then choose which option they prefer.